For recent college grads and young professionals, it's easy to find yourself lost and scattered. Some career opportunities seem like a great fit, but don’t interest you at all, while others are outside your area of expertise, yet they excite you. You have lots of ideas floating around inside your head and lots of people outside your head telling you what you should be doing. Your ambitions and aspirations can make you feel driven at best and completely overwhelmed at worst. You know you’re ready to do great things in life but find yourself confused over which great thing to focus on.

Meet “Jada,” a talented and motivated college graduate whose mind brims with ideas, yet she feels lost in opportunities. She finds herself frozen and unsure of her next move, resulting in frustration over her lack of progress and clarity. She knows she’s intelligent and capable, which creates even greater irritation as she asks herself “Why can’t I find the right job? What am I doing wrong?”

I see this scenario a lot in the young adults I work with—ambitious and driven people who become distracted and uncertain. They can see all the options in front of them but can’t commit to one long enough to see it through to the end. In my work with Jada, we were able to find the clarity she sought, which brought focus and direction. Let me show you how you can follow the steps she took so you can gain clarity and direction too.

Discovering the Clear Route Ahead

1. Give yourself time and space. We started with giving time and space for her to daydream up different possibilities. This was hard for her to do since she wanted instant results, so we also needed to practice a bit of patience and self-compassion along the way. But this time to daydream was crucial—it allowed her brain to play around with different possibilities without getting lost in the logistics or why things wouldn’t work. She also needed frequent reminders that the uncertainty she felt wouldn’t last forever and ended up putting it on a sticky note on her mirror. 

2. Don’t go it alone. I asked her to speak with trusted friends, professors, and mentors about her thoughts and visions. This gave her the chance to normalize her uncertainty and to learn from them. Many of her peers had been through what she was going through and gave her key insights and perspectives that were invaluable. 

3. Take time away from thinking. She needed time away from thinking about her options too. When we take space from our problems, our brains continue to work on them subconsciously. Our brains are amazing problem solvers, but much of the work occurs during times of rest or restoration. She needed to add extra yoga classes and time for fun creativity to her schedule so her brain could do its thing.

4. Get detailed in spreadsheet mode. As she started to have some clarity, I had her play each one out. We created a spreadsheet with an “eagle view” to break down her overall vision and then broke that down into annual, quarterly, monthly, and weekly goals. And we did this exact process with each idea she was still considering. It was a time-consuming process but it allowed her to get a sense of what each idea would entail and how she felt about the smaller action steps. 

5. Clean everything up. We finally found the clarity she so desperately wanted. We cleaned up her spreadsheets and started over with her new eagle view. It took several hours over several days to really break it down, but now she knows exactly what she’s working towards and what progress looks like.

Maintaining Your Path Forward

The sense of relief was palpable as she navigated through it (and I shared in that relief! Assisting numerous clients along this journey, I understand the challenges, especially when they're stuck in frustration). Now, her path ahead is shiny with clarity, almost comically so. We joke about the simplicity of her next moves—just get up each morning and execute the plan she meticulously crafted. It's a no-brainer!

To help her stay on course, I guide her through a weekly review of her goal spreadsheet where we make updates, tracks progress, and adds items to her weekly calendar. She also independently completes an end of the day review where she checks items off her to-do list and ensures her next day is set up for success. It helps remind her of her purpose and keeps her focused. She’s no longer distracted by all the other things she could be focusing on because she knows what she wants and how she’s going to achieve it. It takes a little work up front to set up your system and process but makes everything so much easier in the long-run.

Just for You

If you're feeling lost or without purpose, follow my steps above. And if you need a deeper dive into each one, just reach out. We can always work together in coaching or have a one-time brain strategy session.

‍

Recognized nationally for her expertise, Dr. Melanie has been invited to the White House to discuss the paramount importance of young adultmental health.